I recently sat around with a group of women and the talk inevitably turned to birth stories. As usually happens, the group talked about the size of their children at birth, the humorous side stories, and our husbands. When it was my turn, I told how my first child was 9 lbs 2 oz, and I delivered naturally. One woman laughed with derision and said, "you know they don't give out medals for having a natural delivery. That is why they make drugs."
I didn't respond, but what I wanted to yell was, "I'm not asking for a medal!" But I do want the right to express my full birth story without judgment from the other women present. This isn't the first time I have heard this sentiment, and I admit I don't fully understand it. Why the hate, ladies?
I chose to have a natural delivery; I chose to deliver in a birth center, with a midwife. I made informed choices based on my wants and beliefs. What I didn't do was make any statement whatsoever about anyone else's choices. Truly there is no competition or judgement here. Every woman has a different experience: a hospital delivery, home birth, midwife delivery, epidurals, emergency C-section, inducement, natural labor, slow labor, fast labor. Your story is your story, not a commentary on the way birth should be.
My story is mine. And I have a right to be proud. As any woman who has ever delivered a child from her body knows, it is a life-changing experience. Not just because you made a person, but because you chose to put your body through something difficult and stressful and came out stronger at the end of it all. Because deep down, we all wonder if we can do it.
Part of my story includes that I labored and delivered without drugs. And that my children were large! My choice; my story; my equal voice in the community of women telling birth stories.
That is all the medal I want.
You know, I delivered both ways - first naturally, after a looooong labor, and second with an epidural during an induction. The ignorant chick who felt the need to prove something was right - we don't get medals for delivering a child, no matter how we manage to do so. The medal comes when you see that you have successfully raised a well-balanced, well-educated human who is loving, gracious and has so much to offer the world. It is so not a race, as long as there is a healthy baby in the end, so who the frick cares?? If it was up to me, I would have gone with drugs both times. Being in labor for 21 hours and pushing for 2.5 was way more than I could handle. The pain was not an issue, I was EXHAUSTED. A little rest would have gone a long way and made my birth experience much more enjoyable. And, I would not have had the urge to kick my midwife in the frickin' face. When I saw my baby, all I could think was, "Thank God this is over!", and "SLEEP."
ReplyDeleteA-freaking-MEN!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBeen there before...And I have thought "Really?? This is what it all has amounted too?? A flipping contest?!?!?!"
My Story. Your Story. Her Story. There is no right or wrong one...it is what it is. A personal memory, that damn it IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THE OTHERS!!!! ♥♥
Wha happened to your blog m'dear? Post us!
ReplyDelete